Thoughts on NEDA From a 20-something in Recovery

I wake up at 5:30 sharp, nearly knocking over the old glass of water sitting on my bedside table in my haste to carpe diem, etc. The sun has not yet risen to chase the gloom of night from the corners of my little room. As I dress, I am filled with the weird energy that comes from being awake while it is still dark outside. Morning people will understand.

Breakfast is a leisurely affair, as I woke up earlier than necessary to allow myself time to linger. I choose the last solitary apple from its hiding place behind the avocados and pair it with peanut butter—an indulgence, since I typically embark on a peanut butter spree if I allow myself a taste. This morning, however, I am confidant that I will be able to have my cake and eat it too. I pour coconut milk—sweetened!—into my coffee with a rush of wild abandon.

 It’s Monday, February 25^th, the beginning of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

Changes

About a month ago, I made the decision to leave Tulsa for good and start actively working toward my goal of living in Austin by this time next year. It wasn't an easy decision to make. But now that it has been made, I am at peace. (Is it possible to be scared out of your wits and at peace simultaneously?) 

For those of you who still read this blog and legitimately care about the direction my life is headed, I will try to post more frequently in the coming months. For now, it's the last three weeks of the semester and I need to finish strong. 

On a side note, here is what I have been spending the last hour doing. 

Her majesty's esteem

Metamorphosis - Noun

1. Biology - a profound change in form from one stage to thenext in the life history of an organism, as from thecaterpillar to the pupa and from the pupa to the adultbutterfly. 
2. A complete change of form, structure, or substance, astransformation by magic or witchcraft.
3. Any complete change in appearance, character,circumstances, etc.
4. A form resulting from any such change.

'

With this conceptual shoot, I wanted to show a metamorphosis from civilization to a primal stage of nature...a return to one's roots, to one's true home.  The transformation I tried to portray was meant to inspire thought and reveal beauty in rebellion, restoration, and, ultimately, decay.

Model: Cristina
Styling, concept, and photography: Me

Thanks to a coworker who let me borrow her Sigma 85mm f/1.8 lens!